May 2013
capitalvice:
ruffaloon:
omfg my mom dropped her iphone in the toilet so she fished it out and desperately yelled ‘SIRI I DROPPED YOU IN THE TOILET WHAT DO I DO’ and siri replied ‘Tara, you have 28 events in July. That’s a lot.’ and then died
#more dramatic than romeo and juliet
dunwall:
faeiouck:
shady-bacon:
faeiouck:
“all slytherins are evil”
“all gryffindors are good guys”
“ravenclaws are nothing but nerds”
“hufflepuffs don’t do anything”
Name one evil Gryffindor. One.
peTER PETTIGREW YOU LITTLE SHIT DO NOT QUESTION ME
PETER PETTIGREW WAS AN EVIL GRYFFINDOR HORACE SLUGHORN WAS A GOOD SLYTHERIN CEDRIC DIGGORY WAS A BRAVE HUFFLEPUFF GILDEROY LOCKHART...
17 year old Ed Sheeran : you never loved your stomach or your thighs. the dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine but i'll love them endlessly
17 year old boys around me : ayo shawty whats poppin wanna ride on mah dick
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sherlock10knotes:
watchtheskytonight:
that-guy-called-scott:
mu5icliz:
mermerr:
JOIN THE SHERLOCK FANDOM THEY SAID
IT’LL BE FUN THEY SAID
NO
I AM BAWLING THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MOFFAT
A+ GIF USE GOES TO
(Source: mermerr)
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deadlyrainbows:
sabrinagrimm:
sabrinagrimm:
WHEN I WAS 4 I WAS ON SESAME STREET AND I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH GROVER AND HE ASKED ME HOW IT FELT WHEN I FALL OFF MY BIKE AND I CHUCKLED DARKLY AND SAID “I DON’T FALL OFF MY BIKE” AND HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA AND SAID “oh.” NAD THEN I SATRTED POINTING AND LAUGHIGN AT HIM AND THEN THEY CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AND THAT WAS IT THAT IS MY LEGACY
...
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extreme makeover: home edition
girl: i kinda like horses
ty: WE MADE YOUR ROOM INTO A HORSE AND DECORATED IT WITH HORSES AND HERE WE GOT YOU 3 PET HORSES AND WE ARE PAYING FOR SURGERY TO MAKE YOU A HORSE
blessedbovine:
i’m the kind of person who
falls asleep with scissors in the bed
likes laying down on cold floors
can smell cheez its in close proximity
appreciates abstract impressionism
trips on her own pant leg
gives you the last piece of cake
puts pictures of penises in lockets
I was totally with you up until penis lockets. That I’ve never done. Yet.
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tea-tears-and-bbc:
fiddickodair:
don’T try TO TELL ME THat this is not High school AU Ten & Rose
OMG
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janersm:
sexting-inchurch:
beautilation:
banasmagiccastle:
sarcasminc:
arigoato:
funny text posts arent my
Puns like that could get you in
give it a
Yeah I think the joke might be falling
This would probably be a lot funnier if I could read sheet music
It’s no one else’s fault that you aren’t that
me: *has 10 books to read*
me: *buys 3 more*
me: another 5 won't hurt
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thewrongkhristol:
i wouldn’t cancel a show where the fandom sympathizes with a cannibal.
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yurihooves:
i have two sneezes
the fairy princess sneeze
and the death metal sneeze
worldfamousprofessor:
spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”
contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?
moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
ostracizedpoodle:
who am i shaving for
cybugs:
possible Cars spin-offs
boats
abandoned grocery carts
walls
used toilet paper
unicycles
scratched dvds of schindler’s list
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ididthatonce:
stumblingphrases:
you were really cute until that offensive joke spewed out of your mouth: a guide to how to not be my future lover by me.
If you wanna be my lover You gotta get with my sociopolitical blogosphere
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